Hi Reader!
It's been weeks... I hope you've been well ❤️. Not gonna lie, things have been a little rock and roll over here 😬, but I'm doing good 😁. I've been busy working on big projects, and rearranging life ;)
Surprisingly, I found it really hard to get back into the habit of writing this newsletter even though this is something that I deeply enjoy, and even though it feeds my inner growth and my own healing process. So that got me thinking about habits - how we create habits and how we get stuck in habits and how hard sometimes it is to change things. (For those of you reading me for the first time, I tend to treat my life like a scientific experiment.)
Musings
How do habits form in the first place? Why do some become so deeply woven into our lives they almost *define* us, while others disappear the moment our routine changes? And why are some patterns so difficult to let go of, even when we know they are hurting us?
These are questions I hear in my practice all the time, although most of you rarely ask them this way. Instead, you tell me you can't stop worrying, numbing, clenching your jaw, holding your breath, tightening your belly, apologizing, overthinking, or getting angry. I see tense bodies who can't stop working even asleep, protective patterns that become rigidity and chronic pain, and create limitations we think are permanent. We tend to call all of these things "bad habits", but I’m not sure they all are.
Some habits are simply the brain becoming efficient. Repeat something often enough and eventually it requires less effort. But other patterns seem to appear especially when we are stressed, uncertain, overwhelmed or feeling unsafe, and in those cases the behaviour may be doing something for us. Worrying can make us feel more prepared, checking can create a little certainty, and staying busy can keep us from having to feel what happens when we stop.
So sometimes the more useful question is not simply, "How do I stop doing this?", but "What has this habit been doing for me?" because if the nervous system learned it for a reason, understanding that reason may be part of how we begin to change it.
The other thing I find fascinating is that, over time, habits begin to shape how we see ourselves. "I write" becomes "I'm a writer", while "I worry a lot" can slowly become "I'm an anxious person" and "I have trouble saying no" becomes "I'm a people pleaser." At some point, something we repeatedly do can start to feel like something we fundamentally are.
There’s actually a word I love for something close to this: habitus. The sociologist Pierre Bourdieu used it to describe the deeply embodied dispositions we acquire through experience; the ways of perceiving, responding and moving through the world that become so familiar we stop experiencing them as learned patterns. They simply feel like us. And that makes me wonder where the boundary actually is between our habits and our selves. At what point does something I do repeatedly become part of who I think I am, and how much of what I call my personality is really a collection of patterns that have been rehearsed over a lifetime?
Maybe that is part of why change can feel so difficult. We are not always just changing a behaviour; sometimes we are also changing the story we have learned to tell about ourselves.
And that, of course, brings us back to neuroplasticity, because if the brain learned one pattern, it can also learn another. I'm here to tell you - and if you've followed my story, you'll know I'm the living embodiment of this - that there's always room for change, and that even tiny, incremental changes, can lead to deep, long-lasting transformations. Start where you are - and let's do this together.
🎁 NeuroSomatic Practice of the Week
AND...
A little something for sticking with me...
Since I've been away for a few weeks, I wanted to give those of you who have been reading NeuroNotes a little incentive to continue exploring this with me.
For the next 7 days, you can use the code NEURONOTES10 for 10% off any session package or course.
If there is a pattern you've been trying to change, something your nervous system seems determined to keep doing despite your best efforts, or something you want to learn, this might be an interesting time to explore it together.
Offer ends Tuesday, September 15, 2026.
🧠 NeuroMinute...
Habits form when we repeatedly perform the same behaviour in a similar context, until the brain begins to associate the context itself with the action. With repetition, the behaviour requires progressively less conscious attention and becomes more automatic, with habit learning relying heavily on circuits involving the basal ganglia and particularly the striatum. In other words, your brain is constantly looking for things it can learn well enough that it no longer has to think about them quite so much.
Interestingly, repetition alone isn't the whole story: context matters enormously. The time of day, the place we're in, what happened immediately beforehand, and even our internal state can all become cues that trigger a familiar behaviour. This helps explain why a habit that felt completely established can suddenly become surprisingly difficult when life changes or our routine gets disrupted; the behaviour hasn't necessarily been "unlearned", but many of the cues that were supporting it have disappeared.
And there really isn't a magical "21 days" in which the brain creates a habit. In one frequently cited real-world study, the time required for behaviours to approach automaticity varied from 18 to 254 days, with considerable differences between people and behaviours.
Neuroplasticity happens through repeated experience, but it happens at its own pace, and fortunately, missing an opportunity here and there doesn't appear to undo the learning either.
Want to geek out with me a little more? I've written more about the neuroscience of habits, how they become automatic, and what we actually know about changing them here.
Want to work with me?
Book your individual session now and let's see what this work can do for you!
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PS: What if the story you tell about yourself isn’t entirely true anymore? 🤔
Warmly,
Joana
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